Needy

Needy is often seen as very negative behavior. Sure children and elderly or disabled are allowed to be needy but how is it with others? There is also behavior that is opposite to neediness which is being too independent / too self sufficient. Strong people have learned this behavior mostly as a child due to some toxic situation or relationship in their family or at their community. They keep on repeating this behavior till they come to a healing situation or relationship.

How can we come to a healing? How can we learn to trust people close to us again? If there was one answer or a pill I am sure someone would have made a big money out of it already. Sadly there is no one solution or pill yet. We just have to start to work with ourselves. We have to start to trust our own abilities. We have to find courage to ask professional help when we seek answers. We must start self empowerment and after that to realize when it is safe to trust others.

We have to be needy to self love. We have to accept the darkness and the cries and solitude times. We have to start to speak to ourselves and to know what we want and what we need, to be happy and to be able to trust that we can keep on going.

There is surely neediness to human contact and for hermit like people this neediness can be overwhelming. To be able to tell people that you need their friendly opinion and a moment of their time not their full time presence or some form of relationship other than just a moment. That you value their opinion and their perspective on the matter just so that you are able to make up your own mind. I know people will often interpret opinions as manipulative, but if you are like analytical mind yourself then you appreciate and “need” other perspectives to make the most effective choice you can. But we have come so fearful over neediness, that we push away those that we could ask assistance.

So how to tell someone about your level of need? How to say I am not someone that you can always be around with for I need my hermit life. I do fine on my own, I just need one moment to share something. How to make someone understand that there is a level of need you need to find balance with them? There needs to be understanding about what is neediness overall. What is adult like need, that you can trust the partner over? What is healthy? How to be respectfully needy and not sending the message that you are being taken for granted? Neediness is much deeper in a relationship than just “I need you around for fun.” or “I need you to pay this and that.” Respectful neediness is a balance to have the courage to ask and to be heard and have both of your needs met as well as it is possible at the time.

There is no need for drama or silence (anger). You simply respect the others possibility to give their time/resources and you are respectfully willing to keep giving and getting in balance. So we could say that neediness is someway a healthy human way to co-work with each other. Respectful balance should be included of course.

So learn to mindfully observe your own level of neediness and be willing to grow in areas of responsibility where there is a clear indication of imbalance.

Wish you all flourishing week ahead. Keep you mind open and evaluate your need. Empower yourself if possible and share from your abundance. Stay positive and intuitive! Much love and angel love to you all!

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